Self care…..a necessity or a luxury? - by Mags Beardow
Being a counsellor self-care is one of those phrases that trips off my tongue quite frequently, with clients, with fellow counsellors, with other mental health professionals and sometimes even with friends and family. I started thinking last week about what does self-care actually mean? The thought came about as I had a full day off a couple of weeks ago to go to a day spa with one of my best friends. We see very little of each other as we’re both working, both have families and days and weeks seem to blend into one. It’s made me think though…since when did self-care become something that we need to slot into the diary, something that we need to plan weeks and even months in advance?
I did a quick post on my personal Facebook page asking people about mental health and asked them question ‘What do you do to look after yourself?’ Firstly, I was amazed at the number of responses…between comments, messages and texts I had over 100 responses. There were comments from people I haven’t seen face to face for years, comments from people who I haven’t seen since my schools days (sadly that’s been a while 😊) and comments from people who being honest I didn’t think would actually respond.
Responses ranged from exercising, going on walks in the fresh air, painting, writing, watching comedies, having pamper days, listening to music, sewing, staying away from negative people, Zumba, running, being alone, meditation, praying, singing, volunteering, spending time with friends and family, finding humour in life, doing nothing, drinking more water, chopping vegetables, drinking wine, sitting down with a brew and a biscuit, gardening, playing in a band, having a nice gin and tonic, going to body combat, listening to upbeat music, mentally putting things in boxes, cooking .
Most of these (with admittedly some exceptions) seemed to have something in common though, it felt they were an opportunity to do something away from everyday life, doing something that took them away from the everyday stress, strain and hard work of.. well of just existing, of living.
There was one comment from a friend of mine that seemed slightly different however which was ‘just being content and appreciating the simple things in the now.’ This has really made me think, why is self-care usually seen as an ‘add on’, something we need to do that’s different from how we normally live? How would it be if we embed self-care into every part of our life instead of having to have time out, having to make time to do something special, having to have time away?
I guess there’s no easy answer to that question, but it has certainly made me start to think about how my own self care is a priority not a luxury.